Final Thoughts

Wow what an adventure. It ended up being right around 100 days of non stop smoking and vaping. This morning I woke up and wasn't sure what to do. The normal move would be to the couch to start grinding. Today I had breakfast and worked out. I haven't done either since before the journey started.
My final week of smoking consisted of getting higher than you could ever need to be from morning til night. The final day was something else... I took a full triple strength Bhang bar, smoked a blunt, smoked almost an eighth of kief, a half gram of gold dust, and probably close to a quarter ounce of bud. I stopped getting high around noon as usual but I kept going anyways. Below is what I call the Super Bowl. From bottom to top is has the bud Ice, then kief, then hash oil, then earwax, covered in gold dust. This bowl actually got me very high and was awesome. It all melted and fizzled together into one hard black tar. This was the strongest single bowl I have ever smoked.

Now I can say I have no regrets about quitting. I used to think, man I don't even smoke as much as some people. Now I do. I smoke more. Now I have no excuses and I have gone as far into smoking as you can possibly go. Now it's time for the hard part. Digging my way back to sobriety and staying that way.
Before starting on this excursion I thought I knew just about everything there is to know about weed. Boy was I wrong. I had barely scratched the surface. I now have a whole new perspective on marijuana and it's effects. I now have much more respect for the plant itself. On my tireless quest to find the best bud I realized it became harder and harder to be impressed. I could be smoking some of the best stuff available and it would just be normal because my standards have become so "high".
As for the effects of marijuana, that is was I learned the most about. I have smoked heavily for about the last 10 years, but never like this. I have always noticed that I can't sleep well the day after smoking and even have trouble eating after continuous use. I have dropped 10 pounds over the last hundred days and literally only eating fast food and not working out once. I have become more grumpy and agitated and uninterested in other people. I have become very introverted and spend much more time in my own head than I normally would. I walk around in a cloud all day and become very forgetful. I spend most of my time indoors simply because I'm too high to communicate with the outside world.
While weed has provided me with 10 interesting years and even more so in the last hundred days, I believe it has taken more than it has given. Weed has cost me literally thousands and thousands of dollars in my life time. I've probably spend as much on weed as food. And what do I have to show? Sure I've made a badass blog and owe all of my current friendships to weed, but I have to ask myself what friendships and opportunities I could have had if I didn't have weed to hold me back. In my new opinion weed is ok to use up to 6 times per year. Any more than that and you run the risk of being a real piece of shit.

Top 10 Best Buds List

 10. Orange Jilly

9. Sunnyfields

8. White Widow

7. Purple Nightmare

6. Ghost Dawg

5. Alaskan Thunder Fuck

 4. Dream Star

3. Blackberry Kush

2. Super Jack

1. Cherry AK-47

Top 11 Concentrates

11. The REZ (above)

10. Kief (below)

 9. Bubble hash

8. Full Melt Hash

7. Shiva Crystals

6. Sushi

5. Space Cheese

4. Earwax

3. The Glue

2. Hash Oil

1. Gold Dust

Stoney Boys Best Bud

After over three months of getting way too high I have finally decided a Best Bud for life...JACK HERRER. This particular strain is SUPER JACK. It is a cross between Super Silver Haze and Jack Herrer. Early on in my journey I tested J-1 which was another cross of Jack and at the time I called it my favorite. Here I am all these great buds later and the smell, taste, look, and feeling of Jack just can't be beat. I have also seen Jack Flash (Jack Herrer x Northern Lights), Juicy Jack (Jack x Juicy Fruit), and all kinds of other Jack mixes because it is such a great strain. It is a sativa and it just has the greatest lemony fruity scent. I don't even like touching these buds because my sweaty hands end up so sticky after handling Jack. This was a top shelf 60 dollar eighth and for once it might actually be worth it. If I had to stick with one bud forever, it would be Jack. If I ever grow a strain and name it, I will call it SIMPLE JACK, and it will make you go "full retard".
Stoney Boy Announcement- That's it for the buds folks, but this journey is far from over. Now comes the hard part; quitting and readjusting to normal life. I will be keeping you up to date as the withdrawal hits and in the weeks to follow as I will be coming out of the hazy coma of marijuana. I will be giving you my final opinion on the benefits/ harm caused by marijuana. Thank you and good night.

The Number One Concentrate

Welcome to GOLD DUST. This was tested at an unnecessary 96 percent THC. This costs 50 dollars for a half gram making this more than coke, heroin, crack, gold, platinum, and most diamonds. You can sprinkle this on lots of bowls to make them more potent, or you can be a Stoney Boy and smoke most of it. This stuff has to be kept in the freezer or else it melts really fast. Once any source of heat comes near this it turns to a liquid. Smoking this is similar to smoking like 2 blunts at once. It gets you really high. I don't have much else to say other than it gets you too high. It's awesome. It's too expensive. But it's worth it to try one time. Congrats Gold Dust. You are SO STRONG!

A Surpising Number One Indica

This is PURPLE NIGHTMARE. Purple Wet Dream would have been better. Bad joke. Anyways the story of how I came across this bud is about as important as the bud itself so I will start from the beginning...
I was at work and I get asked to help this lady and her child out to her car. She had purchased over 400 dollars worth of toys, two full baskets worth, and paid with 10's and 20's. The lady who checked her out asked if she had her own small business or something. The lady replied, "More like a medical marijuana dispensary." Boy did my ears prick up.
While helping her out to her car I told her I had just recently got my green card and wondered if she knew any good places. She told me that her and her husband own a dispensary and then very loudly started going over the whole inventory right in the parking lot with her kid staring at her in the cart seat. Although it was awkward she gave me her name and number and address to her dispensary and told me to look her up on Weedmaps. She then tried to give me a 10 dollar bill but I refused (only because I could see my boss watching, normally that shit would be in my pocket). After the refusal she said, "Come down and I'll hook you up fat." That's all a Stoney Boy needs to hear. The next day I drove downtown to find the Weed Mom.
I drive down to the semi-ghetto and keep walking back and forth around this strip and can not find the place. I drive up and down the street for perhaps 30 minutes before finally I see a crippled guy walking through a big white iron gate. Jackpot!
I am admitted in by a 300 plus pound hippy security guard in his 60's. I've never been called bro so many times in any setting. This is the dirtiest, smallest, darkest dispensary I have been in. Hella sketched niggas with dreads and nappy fros and the ex-gang banger in the wheelchair. Finally I get admitted back to the bud room and who is standing there but the Weed Mom with her old saggy jugs hanging out.
She recognized me right away and was happy to see me. She showed me all of her buds and said, take a free eighth of any that you want. After living with Jews, I asked her for the most expensive one. That's when she pulled out this 55 dollar per eighth Purple Nightmare. It seemed so foreign and exotic in this dingy little piece of shit dispensary. It smells fruity and sweet. It is very frosty for a purple. The hippy guard asked her why I got it for free and she said it was because I helped her out to her car. He said, "I didn't know you had kids." And she goes, "It was my grandson actually." BOOM. Mind blown. Weed Grandma.
Purple Nightmare was really amazing and got me super baked to the point where I couldn't finish the bowl. Keep in mind my bowls that I vraped are around .6-.8 grams of the best shit you can find.
Stoney Boy Award- PURPLE NIGHTMARE is the winner of the NUMBER ONE INDICA!!! Congrats. Now the only bud left to review is the OFFICIAL BEST BUD and the NUMBER ONE STRONGEST CONCENTRATE. Stay tuned.

Indoor Vs. Outdoor

Can you guess which is which? The BLUE DREAM in the top picture was 55 dollars per eighth and is a really great example of the bright green that is Blue Dream. The Blue Dream in the bottom picture was free when I bought Laker Balls. Not bad for free weed, but it is day and night from it's indoor grown counterpart. Indoor sativas grow anywhere from four to eight feet high. That same seed grown outdoors might grow 12 feet high and yield much more pot. Now that might sound like a good thing, if you are a drug dealer, but if you like good weed, it's indoor all the way. Click on the images to see the differences up close. Look how healthy the top picture is and how leafy and plain veggie green the bottom picture is. Now you might be thinking, "It's called Blue Dream and the bottom one looks more blue." Yeah...that's an unhealthy blue color. Now don't get me wrong this would be considered great weed in a smaller town outside of California or to most high school kids. But at this stage of the game, I gotta have the best. This Blue Dream indoor was a very good sativa even though it tasted like dirt and nacho cheese. It gave me a nice energetic high. This strain is very popular around the area and this is one of the top samples I have seen. This is a Top 10 Best Sativa.

The Big Bad Wolf

This is a WOLF CAKES FUDGE BROWNIE. This is around an 8 dollar edible which is not bad. You could taste the weed but I drank milk with it and it was actually pretty delicious. It was only around 2 or 3 doses so nothing too amazing. This is just a nice standard edible and weed brownies are a classic I had to review.

Luke, I Am Your Father.

Actually Darth says, "No, I am your father," after Luke accuses him murdering his father (as he was previously told by Obi Wan Kenobi). Anyways this is SKYWALKER OG HASH OIL. This was tested at 78% THC and like 13% CBD or something ridiculous making this the strongest concentrate to date! This breaks the general rule that lighter colored means stronger in concentrates. Hash oil is a very different and popular concentrate and has some of the highest THC percentages that you can find. It is much slower than molasses and was very hard to deal with. Once the lid shut it would often be hard to open because this stuff is just so sticky icky. This cost 50 dollars per "gram". It's really hard to weigh this stuff and also load it into bowls. Although this shit is super potent and sends you into space for about an hour it is just really hard to deal with and therefore not the best choice for 50 dollars. But don't be let down by the strongest concentrate to date because I have one last trick up my sleeve... Unless I die trying to smoke it...

The Future Has Arrived

This is a bottle of GOLD CAPS. I have seen these around and they look like a legit way to medicate. I have tried Marinol, which is the synthetic THC pills they give to cancer patients. You can only get those through pharmacies...go figure. This product was very similar. It comes in either 10mg or 25mg doses. The budtendress said these are her favorite "edibles" and that the 25 was too strong for her. So I said I'll take the 25's. I tested just one while going to see that stupid woman movie that's like The Hangover. I forget what it's called but I could have been on heroin and still been miserable because that movie sucked. Anyways one 25mg pill just got me kinda stoney but nothing too great. So realizing that I am no mortal man and can no longer get stoned by conventional methods, I decided to take the remaining four pills. This morning at 7:30 when I woke up I took all 100mg on an empty stomach. After about an out I started feeling really funny and good. It progressed from there into a strong but not overpowering uplifting high. I did lots of chores, listened to music, and played video games. This stuff lasted a long time and I would recommend it, if only it didn't cost so much to actually feel the effects. The bottle was 30 dollars. That comes to six dollars per pill. This trip for me 24 dollars. For that price I could have vaped two grams of some bomb buds. This pill would be great for people that could afford it and don't enjoy smoking or the taste of edibles.

Yes, Your Highness

This is ROYAL OG. I asked the budtendress what strains it comes from and she said it's the closest thing they have had to their Louis the 13th strain. That didn't answer my question at all but it made me wish I could get their Louis the 13th instead of this wannabe. But it costs 60 dollars per eighth so I assumed it was decent and bought it. Very unique smelling bud, it's kinda manly smelling almost. It smells like I just had a hard sweaty day of work but try to cover it with cheap cologne. Ya, it smells that good. It is a pretty dense nug and is so covered in short white trichromes that you can hardly see any green. Royal was a pretty awesome top shelf indica. It gave me a lot of energy to rock out on guitar for about an hour which was unusual. This is definitely a top indica and possibly even a Best Bud.

If You Scared Go To Church

Welcome to CHURCH. Although I think Jesus and the bible are silly, I still decided to try this 60 dollar premium shelf indica. If I'm being completely honest, it doesn't look as good as many of the other strains I've tried. But what Church lacks in appearance it makes up for in potency. It does have a nice light green/ dark green mix that was fairly pronounced in this strain. It kinda smelled like candy and tasted really good. The high happened fast and gave me the hardest body stone it was crazy. Like my whole body was buzzing, radiating from my chest. Church is stupid but this strain was awesome! Now if only I could find Temple.

Whiter Widow...

So remember a way long time ago when I was ignorant and used to choose weeds based on their name and not physical properties? No? Me neither because the last three months have been vapor trails. I don't know what that means. Anyways I bought some ok WHITE WIDOW before but this was actually one of the best looking buds at the place. The bud tendress in this place is none other than the Weed Grandma I've mentioned several times recently. Strange how you don't remember that either I bet. Anyways she says "Oh yeah man that's some really good old school Widow." And sure enough it looked and smelled much more like the White Widow I had dreamed of in my head.
This was a top shelf bud at Weed Grandma's hole in the wall, hard to find even by dispensary standards. There was one bud that was more expensive but I will explain why I didn't choose to purchase that one in a later post. Let's just say it was one of the best moments of my Stoney Life (which puts it right ahead of sleeping and watching TV).
Back to the bud. This White Widow smelled a bit like Pine-Sol. It is just completely covered in short crystals, and then on top of that grow long white crystals. Just an awesome sativa that layed my ass under a blanket shivering and then taking a short nap and then waking up feeling like a million bucks.
Stoney Boy Tip Of The Journey- Never judge a strain by the name. Oh shit I never said it like that before though that kinda rhymed. Trademark.

I Almost Made A Real Hash-Hole Outta Myself.

When you think of a good time to try a new edible, you usually think "at work!" Well, that all works good and fine until things go terribly wrong. I'm not going to tell the story on here because that would imply I was high at work. Stoney Boy already has enough things on the Internet that can get him thrown in jail (piracy, porn unnoticed for a year on Youtube, and blatant racism to name a few). Story ended well and Stoney, as always. I got this HASH CHOCOLATE for free from the Weed Grandma. I thought it was around the strength of one piece of Bhang Bar 2x. Which is not bad for a fairly tiny edible I consumed in one bite. I would rate this right behind the Hash Head Gummy Worms.
Stoney Boy Cover Up Move Of The Day- After eating the hash chocolate; chug some soda, then some water, throw in a stick of gum, hit the Clear Eyes and try not to look like a retard. I think I did a good job at all but the last part.

The Grim...

This is GRIM DAWG. Seeing the Grim Dawg is an omen that you are about to get really really baked. It has one of the most unique green colorings I have seen and I can't even begin to describe what it smells like. Maybe nutmeg and pepper or something crazy. This is a 60 dollar premium shelf sativa that is just super dense with crystals. It tastes really good and got me really high. After the bowl I just layed there feeling so good, then I went and layed in bed wriggling around feeling amazing. Getting vraped by a huge bowl of top shelf weed can have a very euphoric high, especially with these strong sativas. Grim Dawg really produced one of the best feeling highs I've had on this journey and it definitely has a place somewhere on the Best Buds List.

Super Great Rape

Oops I mean SUPER GRAPE APE. I reviewed Grape Ape much earlier but this is a much better sample. This has a 50/50 mix of purple and green leaves. This is just a beautiful purple and a nice deep green and a decent level of trichromes. This strain had an 18% THC level and high CBDs. This is a very strong indica and really had me locked to the couch with my whole body buzzing. Awesome stuff and pretty long lasting. The taste from getting vraped by Super Grape Ape was like grapes it was great.
Stoney Boy's Lost Weekend Is Here! - That's right I promised to stop buying weed products as of yesterday. But that doesn't mean the fun is over yet. While the Stoney Girl is out of town I will be attacking...The Kush Castle...

Yes, this is my fortress of solitude and shame. Many of these are yet to be reviewed. Not shitting you these are 20 of the Best Buds you will ever see. Since I was nearing the end of my endeavour I went around to all of the top clubs and asked for the best of the best. Now you have to realize that Sacramento is the closest city to the "Emerald Triangle" in Northern California where all of the best weed is grown. It was also the first city to open dispensaries and Montel Williams just opened his own dispensary here so if that says it all. The point is that I got a shit load of the best weed you can find and I have ONE week to smoke it all. I'm going to need help. Now who's with me?

STONEY BOYS BEST BUD!!! ...?

So here it is. We've come a long way to get here, straight uphill... This is CHERRY AK-47. Please note that I first purchased and smoked this bud on May 30, which is 5 days after these lab results where taken, implying that this is legit what it says it is. This is almost 28 percent THC and has an extremely low level of CBDs. Since none of you read the one post that was actually informative, A., I'll tell you that I got super high. And 3, it is a pure sativa. It produced a very clear headed high while being completely retarded at the same time. Although it was a sativa my whole body felt crazy just from the potency alone. At first I was like, man I don't feel it. Then it hit me hard and fast and I was halfway through the process of being vraped. The bud just kept going and going and by the time I dumped it with the aftermath it still looked better and greener than most of the bud I've smoked my whole life. Do yourself a favor and click that picture above to enlarge it and enjoy the layer upon layer of long white furry trichromes. The dispensary I went to is basically in business because of this one strain. Surprisingly, Cherry AK-47 was only 48 dollars per eighth (3.6 gram as opposed other places that give 4.0 often). It smells faintly of old cheese and cherry's. This is as close to a Cannabis Cup bud that you can find without doing a lot of hard searching. And for the price, you could easily double the 45 and call it the 100 Dollar Kush. Nias really do that shit. Move a couple pounds of this to places that aint got good weed and you break em off with the 100 Dollar Kush and then show them a nug to prove it. Cha-Ching.
Stoney Boy Clarification Of The Day- This is technically the "Best Bud" if you look at the stats..but sometimes you have to look beyond stats. Take the recent NBA finals for example. Dirk had better stats and his team won, but LeBron is still my favorite. Now do you see what I mean? Cherry AK-47 takes the number 2 spot on the Stoney Boy Best Buds List! Number One Best Bud is still to come!!!

Mango

This was the first strain I tried after getting my card. It is called MASTER MANGO. It is a cross between Master Kush and Mango. I wouldn't say it smells like mango but it does have a petroleum like smell. It tastes pretty fresh and had a nice head high to start which moved into a nice body high. This is around 19 percent THC which is pretty high. It is completely covered in really short white trichromes and the orange hairs add to the "mangoness" of the strain. Master Mango is a cool and unique bud but it does not make the Top 10 Best Bud list.

The Darkness Is Spreading...

Do not adjust your screens, this really is the darkest bud you have ever seen. It's so purple it's black! This bud is ironically named SUNNYFIELDS. It can be found at only one dispensary in the world...Sunnyfields. It has an 18 percent THC content and high CBDs. This indica gets you surprisingly high. It smells like chocolate and grass. It tastes really fresh and for 45 dollars per eighth, this is an amazing bud. Definitely unique and powerful and memorable. If I could change one thing about it, I would change the name to Black Widow or The Nigger or something badass. I'll take a half ounce of Nigger please. Top 5 Unique Strain!
Stoney Boy Preview Of The Day- So like I said I will be done purchasing weed but I will continue to get vraped until my whole stash is gone. Believe me I still have plenty more to come... and I saved the best for last...

EZ Does It

So I walk into a new dispensary and say what's your best bud? He says his best bud is MK. I say what a coincidence, that's my best bud too (shout out to M-EZ!). This is actually MK ULTRA. Which is like a stronger version of Master Kush. This is a 55 dollar per eighth indica and is definitely a Top 10 Best Bud. It has a piney scent and plenty of pretty trichromes. This is a hefty, albeit squishy bud, much like it's MK human counterpart. Now Clingy and I have something in common, we love waking up in the morning and blowing MK. ;)

Ice Loves Coco

This is the second time in my life smoking ICE. However it is the first time I've smoked the green kind. Ice was the weed I showed a picture of when I was showing what a lot of trichromes looked like. The sample I got wasn't as good as the picture, but things rarely are. This was some super frosty furry stuff. The trichromes are long and abundant. This was a 55 dollar per eighth strain. It has a great lemony fragrance and was a slow hitting indica. It was slow but very strong and long lasting and kept me from doing anything for several hours. I did watch a good HBO Documentary; Hot Coffee. Remember the dumbass old lady that bought coffee from McDonalds and was driving and spilled on herself and sued McD's for being too hot? Dumb bitch right? Well actually it didn't go down like that at all...that's just what big business wants you to think! She was actually in the passenger seat, pulled over and had the cup between her legs. She was taking the lid off to add some cream and sugar when it accidentally spilled all over her legs. Now that part was her fault no doubt, but he coffee was 180 degrees. They should the old ladies nasty coochy burns and it was horrifying. They thought she was gonna die from it. Now Ronald Mac had already gotten over 700 complaints of burns from his abnormally hot coffee but never did anything about it until it almost killed an old woman. Now this poor old burned woman is used as a scapegoat every time someone has a lawsuit against Big Business. She was awarded 2.6 million dollars, which is two days sales of McDonalds coffee. However because of George W. (sorry Dubya you know I gots love) putting a 250,000 cap on all damages like that, she really didn't get that much after the months of skin grafts and hospital bills. And this kind of stuff is happening all the time. And that is why Ice is a Top 10 Best Bud.

Getting High As Michael Jordan

This is MJ-23, and let me tell you folks...it's a real slam dunk. This is a very nice looking 50 dollar top shelf sativa. It is super fuckin frosty and has a great balance of dense/fluff ratio. Click on the picture and look at the long white trichromes covering this guy. Weird because the real MJ was bald! These MJ jokes are not working. It has a super strong scent of stinky cheese and grass (like Mike). It doesn't taste super amazing and the high was slow to hit and was not overpowering. This is somewhat unfortunate because I wanna be overpowered when I get vraped. However with the name, smell, look, and feel, MJ-23 might just be a top 10 Best Bud.

White Power!

This is THE WHITE. It is a hybrid strain of possibly White Widow and Cheese. It smells like gasoline and skunk which smells like fire. This shit is completely covered in short trichromes. It is super sticky and is definitely sativa dominant. My head felt so crazy which lead to a look of retardation for about an hour and a half. It is super dense and when you break off a piece it is just completely white inside. This was a top shelf 60 dollar strain but it was probably worth it for once. This was an amazing hybrid that hit super fast and hard. I didn't know if I would be able to finish the bowl, but alas Stoney Boy aint no bitch... Just regretfully high once again...
Stoney Boy Update Of The Day- Since I am nearing the end of my journey I have spared no expense in finding the best buds on Earth. I will let you know that I have stopped going to the dispensaries but I have about 10 strains to review that are truely the "crem de la crop" which is actually Italian for the "Milk Of God". And if I'm being completely honest, now would be the time to hang out with me because I literally have 15 of the best strains you will ever see or get the chance to smoke in your life. Just saying, I need friends.

Dominos Doesn't Deliver

So this was the first edible I ever got from a dispensary. It costs 6-8 bucks. It weighs about a pound and took an hour to eat. I barely noticed the effects and it tasted like weed. This is a terrible edible. Since buying this shitty thing I have bought smaller more concentrated edibles.
Stoney Boy Note- I thought up the title after having Dominos delivered right before. 

Getting Hazed

This is BLUE HAZE. It doesn't look very blue, but that's because weed doesn't really turn blue. It does however smell delicious like fruit with a slight stinky cheese scent. This is a mixture or Haze and Blueberry. It is a strong sativa that kept me energized for a few hours. Fun and great smelling bud, pretty damn frosty too. Beautiful bud and possibly a top 10 Best Bud.

T.K.O.

This is not a small bottle of jizz (fingers crossed). This is the strongest liquid form of marijuana I could find. I tried tinctures (fail). Chronic Tonic gave me a small buzz for a short time and was three times the size of this thing. So what is this strange bottle? It's called a RUSSIAN CONCUSSION. Now I Googled Russian Concussion to see reviews but all I learned is that when someone passes out and you jizz in their ear and put tape over it, their equilibrium gets thrown off when they wake up and it's called a Russian Concussion. Anyways this is actually a milk/THC concentrate mixture that I have been warned is very potent (always a good sign). In comparison, it is 5x stronger than the Chronic Tonic I recently reviewed (10 doses vs 2 doses). It smelled like gross weed milk so I poured it in a shot glass and took all 2 shots worth of it, then filled it up with water and drank the rest. Not terrible. Better than most alcohol. After one hour I started feeling silly and by the second hour I was stoned as shit. I'm still high 3 hours later and I expect it to last a good 6 hours before I will be "normal-er". This bottle costs 15 dollars. I am considering this #2 on the Stoney Boy Best Edibles list. #1 and still champion is the 3x Bhang Bar! Congrats. I love getting Bhanged. Stoney Girl loves getting Bhanged. Everybody loves getting Bhanged real hard! And as usual the Russians came in second to the US of A.
UPDATE: Originally when I posted this I included a cheap shot about someone that was tricked into drinking jizz in lemonade in High School. That was wrong of me... What I should be doing is thanking that person for taking a bullet for me all those years ago. That's right, that cum concoction was meant for me. Had I not been so untrusting and skeptical life as we know it would be dramatically different. It would be me going through life carrying a certain amount of shame about swallowing a group of other men's babies. Having the constant fear of, "Am I going to get pregnant?" And he could have had a chance at a normal life (kidding, he's fine minus the slightly wounded pride). What I should have done originally is snitch on the assholes that would bring a small metal saucer filled with all of their nasty stinky rotten three day old semen and keep it in their locker until lunch. Then, knowing that the Stoney Boy drinks lemonade with every lunch, decide to pull the old switcharoo. Nice try boys, but you got to get up pretty early in the morning if you wanna catch the Stoney Boy slippin. My heads on a swivel nigga stoned people are paranoid by nature. The jizzy jerks names are...eh I can't say that's still fucked up even though it's the right thing to do. But when have I have done what's right?

I Just Spilled Glue In My Pants...

Ok first off I want to trademark the phrase "I just spilled glue in my pants" or any variation of the metaphor (simile if you want to get specific)about Elmer's Glue being like jizz. Now that that important piece of information is taken care of, I bring you THE GLUE. This shit is 30 dollars for a half gram, 60 per gram. We are talking about high grade cocaine prices. For weed! I'm no rocket surgeon but that's gotta be more expensive than gold and other precious and semi-precious metals. Maybe. Don't quote me on that. The point is that this is some hella good high grade pure shit. Remember when I said the lighter the color the better. This is bright yellow. It starts to melt if it gets too far above room temperature and it definitely melts in your hand. It leaves them yellow and smelling strongly of concentrated marijuana. It is made by CO2 extraction and is tested around 70 percent THC which is the highest yet tested by me.
I tested this in a vape and it melted like butter into the weed supporting it and the whole thing vaped together and got me super high and clear headed. But that was just with a few little pieces... A true Stoney Boy must unlock the true potential of every form of cannabis (For what reason? I don't know). So I put a small nug of weed in the bottom of the bowl of my bong. Then I loaded a liberal amount of this sticky and hard to hand Glue. Especially with sweaty hands. So I dug deep and melted and smoked the whole thing in one mondo rip. Then I took a sip of water and went on a crash course for the couch. There I laid for a minute just gazing around with my mouth open thinking the usual, "What have I done!?"  Then I got up to get some mouthwash, which I basically consider the "brushing" the teeth for that day. On my way by the mirror I noticed I had the hunched shoulders and T-Rex arms of someone who has lost their mind. That's why I am naming this the NUMBER ONE CONCENTRATE to date. But could there possibly be another more powerful concentrate? And would anyone be dumb enough to try it? The answer might is..........muhuhahahaha. Wouldn't you like to know?

Americone...FUCK YEAH!

So I've seen these around a few dispensaries and had to try it. You get lots of free joints going to clubs around town but this is different. These are legit joints that you would see on the shelves if weed were legalized. These each come with a gram of bud and you can pick your strain. I got the Grand Daddy Purple. This was a great burning 10 dollar cone joint that could get a small group pretty stoney. The best part of this is the patriotic plastic case. God Bless Amerijuana.